Overview
The Distilled are a post-apocalyptic cult that worships alcohol as both a sacred purifier and a divine force. Where others see booze as escape, they see it as truth — a way to strip away weakness, fear, and even identity. To them, sobriety is corruption.
They believe the Great War didn't destroy the world — it fermented it.
Led by the conjoined twins Simon & Minos — a single body with two heads, two philosophies, and one unquenchable thirst — The Distilled have carved out a dangerous, unpredictable presence across the wasteland.
Raiders respect their chaos. Settlers fear their unpredictability. Some wastelanders secretly join them to escape trauma… and never leave.
Core Beliefs
Clarity Through Intoxication
Only when drunk can a person see the "real world beneath the lies." Sobriety is blindness.
The World Must Be Aged
Time and decay improve everything, including humanity. To resist aging is to resist truth.
Water Is Weakness
Pure water is seen as unnatural. It must be "blessed" — mixed with alcohol — before consumption.
Leadership — The Twin Vessel
A single body, two identical heads — conjoined twins who lead the faction as a living embodiment of duality. Their followers believe their constant arguments are divine truth being revealed from two perspectives. They are never seen sober. Medical experts, if any still existed, would note this is extremely impressive given the circumstances.
Simon
Calm, philosophical, speaks of balance and "refinement." Seeks control and order within the cult.
Balance & RefinementMinos
Loud, impulsive, preaches excess and chaos. Believes true clarity comes from complete surrender.
Excess & ChaosAnatomy — One Liver, Two Mouths
Simon and Minos share a single liver between them. This liver has been processing industrial-grade alcohol for approximately 15 years without rest. Wastelander doctors who examined them described it as "somehow still functioning, which is either a miracle or a warning."
Two mouths means twice the input. One liver means half the output. The math, as Minos puts it, is "perfect." Simon does not agree but has stopped arguing — it takes energy he no longer has.
The Eternal Argument
Because they share a bloodstream, neither twin can get more drunk than the other. Simon has spent years attempting sobriety. Every time, Minos drinks enough for both of them within minutes. The liver does not care whose idea it was.
Followers interpret this as proof that balance and chaos are inseparable. Simon interprets this as the worst thing that has ever happened to him.
Medical History
Pre-war records from Vault-Tec's medical division list their condition under a category simply labeled "Not Our Problem." Post-war, three different wasteland doctors attempted to treat them. Two joined the cult. One left and hasn't spoken since.
One body. Two contradictory minds. One liver doing its absolute best. The living symbol of the cult's duality — and a walking argument against shared organ systems.
Hierarchy
The Twin Vessel — Simon & Minos
Supreme leaders. A single body, two minds, one will.
Master Distillers
Alchemist-like brewers who create the sacred alcohol blends. Chemists of the cult.
Cask-Bearers
Warriors who carry kegs into battle. Mid-tier tanks and enforcers.
The Fermented
Common followers, constantly intoxicated. Late-stage devotees of the faith.
The Sober (Outcasts)
Failed initiates who rejected intoxication. Silent, deadly, and completely terrifying.
Reputation Titles
Slower radiation damage. Bonuses while intoxicated. You've earned the trust of the Twins.
Rituals
The First Pour
Initiation ritual. Recruits must drink a dangerously strong brew and survive. Pass — or die. There is no refusing.
Barrel Burial
The dead are sealed in casks to "age into the earth." Death is not an ending — it is fermentation.
The Great Blackout
A mass drinking event where members attempt to reach "total clarity" through unconsciousness. The entire wasteland shudders when this begins.
Settlements
The Distilled take over any location where alcohol was once made or sold — breweries, bars, wineries, pre-war distilleries. But their crown jewel is something far more formidable.
The Last Call
A massive fortified distillery where rivers of weak alcohol flow through rusted pipes. Neon signs flicker. Cask-Bearers patrol the perimeter. The smell alone can make a traveler dizzy.
- Rusted industrial tanks welded into walls
- Neon sign flickering: "LAST CALL"
- Rivers of flammable alcohol through cracked pipes
- Air thick with intoxicating fumes at all times
Interior Zones
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1
The Tap Gate (Entrance)
Initiation zone. New recruits forced into The First Pour. Watch NPCs pass out, survive, or die. You're next.
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2
Fermentation Hall
Massive bubbling vats tended by Master Distillers. The air carries a constant low-level intoxication effect.
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3
The Twin Chamber (Throne Room)
Elevated platform of stacked barrels. Simon & Minos sit on a fused throne with feeding tubes. Followers chant and drink below.
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4
The Cask Crypt
Barrel burial site. Whispering vents that may be gas — or hallucinations. The air tastes like grief and fermentation.
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5
Eclipse Still (Endgame Area)
Locked until the final quest. A massive experimental brewing machine, glowing, unstable, and deeply dangerous.
Main Questline — "Aged to Perfection"
A Strange Brew
You hear rumors of a cult turning water into alcohol near an old distillery. You arrive at The Last Call and witness a recruit either survive — or die — during The First Pour.
You're invited to drink.
Gain temporary buffs + blurred vision. Initiation begins.
They distrust you, but still offer work.
Proof of Faith
To earn trust, you must retrieve a pre-war recipe from a ruined brewery overrun with feral ghouls.
Twist: The recipe is for industrial ethanol — not safe to drink.
Simon approves. Gains his trust and respect.
Minos approves. Gains his loyalty and chaos.
The Twin's Dispute
Simon and Minos are clashing more than usual. Simon wants control and refinement. Minos wants escalation and chaos. You're asked to secretly assist one side.
Order and stability. A strange but manageable future.
Destruction and madness. Glorious, terrible chaos.
The Perfect Brew
The Distilled attempt to create a legendary drink: Eclipse Reserve. Ingredients include rare glowing fungus, a pre-war chemical stabilizer, and highly irradiated water.
Complication: The brew may be lethal… or transformative. No one knows which.
Risk the outcome. Trust the process.
Stop it before anyone finds out what it does.
Last Call
The ritual begins. The entire faction gathers. The Eclipse Still is activated. Every choice you've made has led here.
Music plays. Fire everywhere. Simon and Minos face you. The fate of The Distilled — and the entire region — rests on your next move.
Simon's Path. Order prevails.
Minos's Path. Let it burn.
Betrayal. End it all.
Secret Ending. Think bigger.
Endings
Refined Order
You stabilize the brew. The Distilled become more controlled, almost civilized. Alcohol becomes ritual, not chaos.
Beautiful Ruin
You overload the brew. Mass hallucination and frenzy. The faction descends into glorious madness.
Sobering Truth
You sabotage the ritual. The brew poisons many, including possibly the Twins.
The Twin Ascends
You perfect the formula. Simon and Minos mutate further — becoming something inhuman.
Weapons & Gear
Spirit Flamer
Flamethrower fueled by high-proof alcohol. Chance to cause enemies to panic — the "Drunken Terror" effect.
Twin's Judgment
Dual-headed broken bottle weapon. Alternates between Simon hits (precise, crit damage) and Minos hits (chaotic, chance to stagger).
Last Call
Damage increases as your character becomes more intoxicated. Tipsy: 25. Drunk: 50. Wasted: 100.
Molotov Relics
Rare variants: Hallucinogenic fire (enemies attack allies), or Lingering Flame Pools that persist long after impact.
Armor
Distiller's Regalia
Tubes feed alcohol directly into your mask. The ultimate commitment to the cause.
Consumables
Eclipse Reserve
Massive buffs. Unpredictable side effects including hallucinations, temporary invincibility, or sudden collapse.
Cask Strength
Slower movement. Huge melee damage boost. For those who want to hit hard and don't mind stumbling.
Blessed Water
Slight healing. Minor addiction risk. The entry-level sacrament of The Distilled faith.
Enemy Variants
They shouldn't just be "drunk raiders." Each type reflects a different stage of devotion — or damage.
The Buzzed
- Slurred speech, erratic aim
- Random bursts of accuracy ("lucid moments")
- Sometimes stop mid-fight to drink
The Cask-Bearers
- Carry keg backpacks (flammable)
- Use heavy melee weapons
- Can spray alcohol and ignite it
The Distillers
- Throw experimental brews at you
- Hallucinogens (screen distortion)
- Slowing sludge
- Rage-inducing fumes
- Buff allies mid-combat
The Fermented
- Skin discolored, veins glowing faintly
- Immune or resistant to radiation
- Constantly muttering prayers
Spirit Burners
- Carry Spirit Flamers
- Leave burning alcohol pools
- Laugh while attacking
The Sober
- Completely calm, completely silent
- Does not drink
- Extremely accurate and deadly
Bosses
Witnesses don't survive
The Barrel Warden
Built like a fortress, smells like one too. His armor is constructed from fused burial casks — which means he is, technically, wearing dead people. The Distilled consider this an honor. The dead are less enthusiastic.
Drips burning alcohol constantly. The floor around him is always on fire. He hasn't noticed. Or he has, and simply doesn't care. Both are equally terrifying.
- Phase 1 Slow tank. Massive armor. Every hit sounds like hitting a very angry distillery.
- Phase 2 Armor cracks. Faster, more aggressive. Also angrier. The smell gets significantly worse.
- Phase 3 Ignites the entire arena. At this point it is unclear whether he's trying to kill you or just celebrating.
Master Distiller Kaveh
Genius chemist. Completely unhinged. Uses custom brews mid-fight — every encounter feels completely different from the last.
- Mechanic 1 Randomized attack patterns — no fight is ever the same.
- Mechanic 2 Can mutate himself temporarily — gains new abilities mid-fight.
- Weakness His experiments can backfire. Watch for the telltale glow before he mutates.
The Twin Vessel — Simon & Minos
Only encountered in certain endings. The ultimate test of everything you've done in The Last Call.
- Phase 1 Dual Minds — Simon controls precision (lasers, aimed shots), Minos causes chaos (fire, explosions). They argue mid-fight.
- Phase 2 Overdose — They inject Eclipse Reserve. The arena distorts visually. Gravity and perception shift.
- Phase 3 Ascension — Secret ending only. Extra limbs. Distorted layered voices. Reality-warping attacks. "We are… perfectly aged."
Companion — Brandy
"I see too clearly now. It's worse."
A former Distilled member who left after "seeing too clearly." Dry humor. Hates what the cult became. Still struggles with addiction — the amber ring in her eyes never fully fades. The scar on her left cheek is where the mask tube used to attach. She kept it because, she says, "it's a useful conversation starter with people I want to immediately stop talking to."
Personality
Dry humor — ironically. Hates what The Distilled became. Still drinks, just "less." Refuses to define "less."
Functional AddictBackground
Joined to escape trauma. Stayed too long. Left when she realized she remembered more than she was supposed to.
Knows Too MuchCompanion Perk — Liquid Courage
She doesn't dodge. She just doesn't go down. The alcohol in her system is, at this point, structurally load-bearing.
Personal Quest — Sobering Thoughts
Return to The Last Call. Face the people she left. Decide whether she came back to forgive — or to finish things.
She makes peace. Buffs teamwork. Still drinks. Smiles more.
She burns it down. Combat bonuses. Never drinks again. Doesn't smile either.
Elite Enemy — The Aged One
The Aged One
An ancient member of The Distilled. Skin almost crystallized — like something that has been pickling for too long, which is exactly what happened. Moves slowly. Hits extremely hard. Hasn't been sober in decades.
Doctors estimate he should have died 11 years ago. He is aware of this and considers it a personal achievement. He has begun telling people. At length.
Myth
Followers believe he has been fermenting from the inside for so long that he has become something else entirely. His crystallized skin is described in cult texts as "the final stage of aging." Most wastelanders describe it as "deeply upsetting."
Combat Behavior
Walks toward you. Very slowly. Does not stop. Does not react to being shot. Mutters prayers the entire time. Occasionally pauses to drink from a cask mounted to his back. This is somehow more frightening than if he just ran.
Random Encounters & World Details
Random Encounters
The Blessing
A lone Distilled follower trying to "bless" a water pump by pouring alcohol into it. He's been at it for three hours. The pump has not achieved enlightenment. He remains optimistic.
The Patrol That Argues With Itself
A drunken patrol, split into two factions — the Simons and the Minoses — arguing loudly about which direction to patrol. They have been standing in the same spot for forty minutes. Nobody has patrolled anywhere.
The Salesman
A merchant selling "authentic Distilled spirits — blessed by the Twins themselves." The bottles have clearly been refilled with brahmin urine and a small piece of amber glass for color. He seems deeply hurt when you point this out.
The Great Blackout (World Event)
Dozens of Distilled wander the wasteland in a ritual binge. Fights break out randomly. Settlements barricade their doors. Somewhere in the distance, someone is laughing at a frequency that suggests they have not slept in four days.
Environmental Storytelling
Skeletons Clutching Bottles
Found throughout Distilled territory. Cause of death varies. Grip strength, notably, remains excellent.
Failed Experiments
Melted into floors throughout The Last Call. Some still bubbling. One appears to be trying to move. Nobody has told it to stop.
Sacred Recipes
Written like religious scripture, illuminated borders and all. Footnotes include phrases like "do not consume near open flame" and "God's instructions, non-negotiable." These are contradictory notes on the same recipe.
Blessed Water Stations
Everywhere. All of them contain what is technically alcohol. The Distilled consider this an improvement. The local wildlife has developed opinions.
Simon & Minos — Dialogue
First Meeting
If You Refuse to Drink
The Twin's Dispute
If You Side with Simon
If You Side with Minos
Secret Ending Dialogue
Radio Station — Wasteland Pour
Host: Old Ferment Frank — sounds drunk 100% of the time. Sometimes passes out mid-sentence.
- One More Drink Before the End
- Aged in Atomic Fire
- Pour Me Under
Faction Relations
Brotherhood of Steel
Views The Distilled as dangerous chem-abusing lunatics — but is deeply interested in their Eclipse Still technology.
Raiders
Some admire the chaos. Others think they're insane liabilities. Occasional alliances form for big attacks — but they always collapse because Distilled members get distracted.
Settlers / Towns
Fear them deeply — but secretly trade for alcohol. Black market "blessed drinks" are everywhere. Some settlers join willingly and never return.
Children of Atom
Both see destruction as transformation. But the source of truth differs — Atom preaches radiation; The Distilled preach intoxication. This creates fascinating conflict.
Traders & Caravans
Distilled alcohol is valuable — but dealing with its creators is dangerous. Every trade is a gamble.
Reputation System
Outsider
They don't know you. Suspicious glances. Limited interaction.
Sip-Taker
You survived The First Pour. You've proven you can endure their ways.
True Ferment
You're trusted. Access to inner areas. Followers will aid you in the wasteland.
Cask-Bearer
You carry the cause. The faction's warriors respect you as one of their own.
Speaker for the Twins
The highest honor. You speak with the authority of Simon and Minos themselves.
High Reputation Perk: Aged Soul
Companion: Brandy
A former Distilled member who left after "seeing too clearly." Dry humor. Hates what The Distilled became — but still struggles with addiction.
Personal quest: Return to The Last Call. Forgive the faction — or destroy it.
DLC — Spirits of the Waste
A new explorable region: The Sundered Valley — once a fertile wine and agricultural region, transformed by the bombs and later by The Distilled into a warped land of fermentation, fumes, and fire.
Fermentation
Decay + transformation. The core identity of the entire region.
Alcohol Vapors
Environmental hazards everywhere. Breathe carefully.
Beauty + Rot
Vineyards turned toxic jungles. Grotesque and gorgeous.
New Mechanic: Blood Alcohol Level
Main Story Acts
A Thirsty Land
Enter the Valley. The Distilled control all drinkable liquid.
Taste of Truth
Infiltrate The Distilled. Meet Simon & Minos. Begin reputation.
Splitting Spirits
The faction fractures. Sub-leaders rebel. The Twins lose control.
The Source
Discovery: a pre-war liquid reactor can convert anything into ethanol.
Last Call (Finale)
The Eclipse Still activates. The entire region hangs in the balance.
The Sundered Valley — Map Regions
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1
The Dry Border (Entry Zone)
Cracked earth, empty wells. Anti-alcohol survivors cling to life here. Settlement "Last Drop" — people who reject The Distilled entirely, suffering dehydration and fear. They need water, but The Distilled control the purification tech.
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2
The Rotting Vineyards
Twisted, overgrown grape fields. Grapes glow faintly — irradiated. Enemies: The Fermented and mutated animals drunk on fallen fruit.
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3
The Spirit Marsh
A swamp of spilled alcohol and irradiated water. The entire surface is flammable. One bullet = chain fire across the water.
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4
Distillery Row
A cluster of pre-war factories, each controlled by a Distilled sub-leader. Mini-boss zone. Highly contested territory.
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5
The Black Barrens
Dead zone where failed experiments were dumped. Reality feels… off. Audio hallucinations. Doppelgänger enemies. Approach with extreme caution.
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6
The Last Call (Final Zone)
The fully realized endgame dungeon. Heavily fortified. The centerpiece of the entire DLC — everything leads here.
DLC Side Quests
Water for the Living
The settlement of Last Drop is dying of dehydration while sitting next to rivers of alcohol. Help them find clean water — or convince them that the rivers are clean water and the problem is their attitude.
They survive. They're grateful. They immediately start trading for alcohol anyway.
They join The Distilled. The dehydration problem technically resolves itself.
Vintage Revenge
A ghoul vineyard owner has been waiting 200 years to confront the people who ruined his "perfect wine." The wine was never perfect. He does not want to hear this. He has a lot of feelings about grapes.
He attacks The Distilled. Dies happy. Last words are about tannins.
The Distilled agree to use his vineyard. He cries. He claims he is not crying.
The Sober Man
There is a legendary assassin in the valley. Completely sober. Never drinks. Has been hunting Distilled members for three years. Nobody knows his name. The Distilled call him "The Insult." He is aware of this and finds it extremely funny.
You find him. He was already watching you. The fight is deeply embarrassing for everyone involved.
He joins, sober, and refuses to drink. The Distilled don't know what to do with him. He seems to enjoy this.
Barrel of Lies
A fake Distilled preacher has been scamming settlers — charging for "blessings" that are just tap water with food coloring. He is very convincing. He has a ceremonial robe. He made the robe himself. You can tell.
Settlers are furious. He seems genuinely surprised that lying had consequences.
He escapes. The real Distilled find him two weeks later. The outcome is unconfirmed but heavily implied.
DLC Creatures
Vine Crawlers
- Plant-animal hybrids from the Rotting Vineyards
- Fast, low to the ground
- Explode into flammable pulp on death
Drunken Radstags
- Stumble unpredictably across the Rotting Vineyards
- Erratic movement makes them hard to hit
- Sudden aggressive charges with no warning
Fermented Ghouls
- Emit toxic fumes as a passive aura
- Can ignite — turning them into walking firebombs
- Found in the Spirit Marsh and near old brewing sites